McGwire, unselfishly, did steroids for the children.

Mark McGwire, baseball hero and home-run hitter did not do steroids to get home-runs. He did them for the children.

"Listen, baseball sucks." McGwire said in an emotional interview with AP. "I did baseball and children a favor by obliterating some old dude's record. The children cared for baseball when I played and hit my home-runs. Now nobody uses PED's anymore. Why the shit should I even watch baseball anymore?"
McGwire now works as the St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach. "I don't really coach them as much as I pressure players to take steroids. They don't take 'em though, fucking losers."
McGwire broke Roger Maris' home-run record in 1998 when he hit a total of 70 home runs. It seems as if McGwire seems to not care about anything anymore, he has become a very mean, old man. When thatsalotofballz called him up to comment, he called us "spineless morons and douchebags." Then we cried quietly in the bathroom.
We're alright now.