Spoelstra explains no-foul call on Pierce

"Lame call, brah"

"Dude, I was so wasted." the NBA's youngest coach explained after the Heat went down 3-0 against the Boston Celtics in the first round of the NBA playoffs. Apparently the coach was inebriated at the time and could not focus on the game, "plus there was this chick, Heather, texting me like crazy. Her boobs are huge, bro." The Heat were up by 1 as the Celtics had a chance for one last play. The Heat also had a foul to give, which could have decreased the Celtics' chances of getting a good shot off. However due to Spoelstra's state of mind at the time, he did not think to have his team give the last foul. The game ended with Pierce, one of the NBA's most clutch players, draining a fall away jumper to win the game.
Erik Spoelstra has, however, done great things with a relatively young Miami Heat team that also has some veteran leadership. Jermaine O'neal is the team's starting center, he has had various knee problems and is also rumored to be deceased which has put a dent in his playoff numbers. "Dude is a corpse, no he's literally dead." Spoelstra commented, "we had to excavate his remains one night at the cemetery, me and my boys at the frat house were all like dude, 'this is scary' and (stuff)"
The coach did apologize for his drinking during the game "it's on me bro, kind of like the next round" as the press all lifted up their beers. Incidentally, the post-game press conference was held at a titty bar.