The Boston Celtics have recently become the NBA's villains. They win too much, they're really good and they're really intense. I think they could become much better villains and I have an 8 step plan to make it happen.1. Hire Don King as the guy who handles the media.
2. Make Doc Rivers wear a Darth Vader outfit on sidelines.
3. Offer Stephon Marbury a contract. (Oh, my bad. They already did that last year.)
4. Feed Kevin Garnett a bucket of cocaine before every game. Then feed him a bucket of puppies during timeouts.
5. Have Paul Pierce say he's the best player in the NBA more often. Then have him say it like he believes it.
6. Frame Ray Allen for murder. He's the goody two-shoes on the team, they have to hoodalise him.
7. Have Rajon Rondo push Tex Winter down a flight of stairs, then have him say "if he dies, he dies" in a press interview as Tex is fighting for his life in a respirator. (Notice how I seamlessly alluded to two Rocky movies at once.)
8. Make all their players wear white suits as they come out and inspect the court for a big game. It worked well for Liverpool in the 90's.
