Saturday, April 24, 2010

United players so sick of Ferguson they actually throw up on soccer field.

Ferguson enjoying a quiet stroll at a local Manchester park.

Two Manchester United players, Brazilian one-name wonder Nani and Patrice Evra, threw up on the field during a Barclay's Premier League match with Tottenham.
Sir Alex Ferguson told reporters he has no idea why the players vomited so heftily. "We don't know what has happened, whether it's something they ate or something that's going around" the Premiership's most successful manager said during a post-game press conference.
The players themselves had other ideas. "Dude, Fergie is sooo boring," Nani said with a flick of his head, he proceeded to put his finger in his mouth and pretend to vomit. He then laughed raucously.
Patrice Evra agreed. "Well, he can very mean. He makes fun of our shoes." The diminutive left back said with a lisp. "I mean I totally make myself throw up every day but I had already done it today... so vomit free Sunday tomorrow. YAY!" The associated press proceeded to feel awkward.
Reports also suggest that the two players had engaged in some partying on Friday. Nani went to a strip club while Evra attended an engagement at Honkey Tonk. An eye witness said they both did copious amounts of ecstasy.