Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dormant Lakers Rise From Acid Induced Slumber

Phil Jackson's memory of this photo shoot is spotty at best

"What, we were playing?" A slightly dazed Pau Gasol said to journalists as he rubbed his eyes, "how did we do? I hope we're not down in the series." This was before game 5 of the Lakers' first round series with Oklahoma City. The Lakers won Game 5 by 24 points.
Phil Jackson coached the game in his pajamas, he explained the reasons for the Lakers less than impressive first four games. "We did some non-prescription medication at my behest. It may have had an effect on our sleeping patterns. But we did win the first 2 games so that's a plus." When he was informed that Derek Fisher had been guarding upstart point guard Russell Westbrook throughout the series he shook his head and laughed, "Fisher couldn't guard me at this point, let alone someone as explosive as Westbrook. Man, that was some solid acid we did."
"I dreamt of flying fish and someone inhaling paint." Backup point guard Jordan Farmar said of his coma.
Kobe Bryant was the only player not to consume the acid prescribed by coach Jackson, this explains his sour mood these past days. "I fucking missed it man. Nobody called me. You guys suck!" He pointed at team mates Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom before kicking a stool over and storming out of the conference room. Odom stood and yelled, "you never answer your phone anyway," he then looked at Bynum and gave him a low key five.