Thursday, January 19, 2012

Local man beats Michael Jordan at HORSE, goes missing

Local man, Thurston Goodman, has gone missing after a bout of HORSE against 6-time NBA champion, addicted gambler and NBA general manager Michael Jordan.

According to several eye witnesses Thurston played the game of his life against the former NBA MVP as he beat Jordan on an outrageous behind-the-back half court shot. Jordan seemed to take the win nonchalantly, although he was seen breaking the side window of his luxury sedan moments later.

Only the baddest of asses can wear earrings.

Thurston, however, has not been seen since that fateful game took place. Jordan was interrogated because of the incident but that turned into Jordan claiming that he had been under appreciated as a basketball player and listing people that had pissed him off in the past 25 years.

Jordan does, however have an alibi for the time of crime. He was beating a child at an ice cream eating contest while talking trash to the child. His enforcer and professional companion Charles Oakley, a.k.a Oak, has no alibi. Oakley was seen disposing of a bloody carpet in the Hudson river 3 hours after the game of HORSE.

No arrests have been made.