Friday, January 27, 2012

Dwight Howard demands that teammates change

Orlando Magic center and terrible free-throw shooter Dwight Howard demanded that his teammates change after their loss to the Boston Celtics, their second defeat to that team in 3 days.

"We didn't play the right way and we have to change" Howard said after the game outside of the team bus. "For example, it would be great if Jameer Nelson changed himself into an effective player again." The all-star center demanded a trade during the off-season because he believes he won't be able to win a championship with the current squad of player the Magic possess.

"What I would love is if Jason Richardson somehow metamorphosed into Kobe Bryant, or some sort of super hero who would amazing at basketball." Howard said with a certain crazed glean in his eyes. "It sounds impossible but God can make anything happen."

Howard then immediately scampered across the highway, into the night. He has yet to be seen again.