Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Beckham quotes Voltaire, hell freezes over.

The entire press body was shocked beyond belief when David Beckham answered a question by quoting the french writer and philosopher Francois-Marie Arouet, also known as Voltaire.
When Beckham was asked whether he thought his team, L.A Galaxy, had a chance to beat out the Houston Dynamo and proceed to the MLS finals, the winger's eyes glazed over, each pointed in a different direction, and he answered in a deep voice not entirely his, "perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time." Most of the reporters immediately recognized the quote as Voltaire's and were utterly shocked.
An eerie silence crept over the press conference as no man believed or wanted to believe what just had happened. One heavy set journalist lost his mind, clattered out of his chair and asked his fellows to pinch him. "This is a dream, it's all a dream!" he exclaimed time and time again before charging through a window and falling to his death several stories below.
In other news Fox's on the scene weather man in Hell reported that a sudden cold had descended and quenched all flames. He told a daytime anchorman through a video connection that the temperature had dropped below 32 degrees Fahrenheit for the first time in history. We must all hope that this does not mean the end of time.