Tuesday, November 24, 2009

FA considers buying puppies, then putting them in a sack and throwing them in a river.

The English Football Association are considering to cut charity funding of 50.000 pounds a year for one of soccer's leading mental health charities. Lord Triesam, the FA's chairman, stated that they will not donate money to such unworthy causes, as he twirled his black mustache and petted a white cat. "I say, it is utter nonsense to do such things. My associates and I have decided rather to invest the money elsewhere, yes, quite," Lord Triesam said as he lit an unfiltered cigarette with a 20 pound bill.
When asked what those charities were the Lord was flustered and became quite angry, "charities? never, I say! We will purchase a golden throne for me to sit on, and possibly brollies for the lot of
us." Apparently brollies are umbrellas.
According to a source close to the Lord, he would only be known as a "henchman," the FA has put it's equities to use quite recklessly. They have bought a large number of illegal weapons on the black market. They bought a cancer research facility and then turned it into a parking lot and finally Lord Triesam considered buying a dozen puppies, putting them in a sack and throwing them in the river Thames. The last act was the straw that broke the camels back for this henchman, "why would you do that?" he asked. There have been no answers from the FA as of yet.
Examples of puppies.

The photograph of the gentleman holding the sticks of dynamite is an artist's rendering of Lord Triesam.