Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Research says baseball is the 2nd most boring sport.

A new study of the most entertaining sports by the Committee of Invalid Research, which is headed up by Dick Burger, has come up with some staggering facts about which sports are the most boring.
To no one's surprise cricket is number 1. In 2nd place though, we find baseball, sometimes called America's past time, sometimes called "what is this?" by Europeans. We decided to call Mr. Burger up and have him explain the results to us.

What Google came up with when i searched for "dick burger."

Balls: What were the most important findings you came up with?

Dick Burger: Well, apparently people like it when stuff happens in sports. In baseball, some stuff happens some of the time but there's not too much going on for a long time.

Balls: So it has something to do with the length of the games.

Dick Burger: Baseball games are so long I once went to the bathroom twice during one game.

Balls: That's actually not that bad, I once peed for--

Dick Burger: I was taking shits.

Balls: Right.

Dick: Most baseball games are like that movie The Piano.

Balls: Cinematic masterpieces?

Dick: No, boring pieces of shit where nothing happens.

Balls: What about cricket?

Dick: Cricket's just a game made up so that rich white people can watch something while they get drunk.

Balls: I thought that was all sports.

Dick: All sports don't have games that last for weeks.

Balls: That's true. One final question.

Dick: Yes.

Balls: Do you like dick burgers.

Dick: That's not cool, dude.