Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Bizarro Fantasy Basketball League

Fantasy basketball has become immensely popular in recent years. ESPN is a big factor in this, making things like fantasy drafts and leagues more accessible to the average guy (or girl for that matter). They've even come up with an auction draft where you can bid a certain amount of dollars for players, it sounds fantastic.
Well, I've come up with a new fantasy league, The Bizarro Fantasy League. I've set it up based on the NBA. Instead of counting the positive aspects players have on the game, it only counts the negative influences they have on games and the community at large. I've come up with a few categories:

Technical Fouls.
Unsportsmanlike Fouls.
Illegitemate Children (graded on a scale, each child is worth 50 points).
Missed practices.
Times put on the DL without having an injury (an Allen Iverson specialty).
Times dunked on/ posterized (a suggestion. This makes slow big men, like Yao, Darko and Jermaine O'neal, a huge commodity)
Times sued. (each time sued on the season would be 100 points)
Appearances on reality TV (a suggestion. Bonus points if they might be drunk or using substances).
Domestic Dispute (a suggestion. I'd say something like attacking a significant other is worth around 150 points).
Intangible craziness (like when Ron Artest applied for a job at a Radio Shack in Chicago so he could get the employee discount, this would have to be worth at least 200 points.)

These are the 7 categories. Instead of setting up a head to head league, I'd like to set up a regular league like the EPL for example. So after every game each team is awarded a set number of points and if a player is, for example, sued his team gets awarded a 100 points.
It would be tough to have a head to head match up when suddenly Rasheed Wallace slaps up a couple technicals, gets ejected, then screams at an infant and gets sued the next day. The match-up is over, unless you have Ricky Davis on your team and he decides to go on a road trip to Mexico and kills a hooker. Actually, on second thought maybe it would be exciting to have head to head match-ups.
I think this would be a hit even though I doubt ESPN could run with it, given their affiliation with the League.
If anyone can think of different categories please comment on the post.